It must have been so dark,
when you were scared / were their demons clawing at your back, was there a weight crushing your chest,
was your breath in short desperate gasps / of poisonous cigarettes/ of not enough food in your stomach of nerves knots and short empty kisses with people who stole the light you had left.
did u give it to them/ did u share your supply/ did you save anything for yourself / did you take your medication/ did you stop drinking/ did you look after yourself/ get a good night's rest/
did you make it to the swimming pool?
Is the water cool in Africa's dry summer heat of orange dust and hadedas that caw and aloes that spike, are you blinded by the soft glare of white light that bounces off the afternoon waters,
with ripples of light that dance and split and rejoin/ can u feel the water as it touches your skull at the base of your hair strands / go soft, breath comes easy/ down down down as you wanted/
did you make it to the bottom?
What does it look like from there,
Does water look like an horizon from below,
or is it your sky?
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